


With These Eyes

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Angst, Canon, M/M, Season/Series 03, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-06-15
Updated: 2004-06-15
Packaged: 2018-12-27 14:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12082941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin was everything to Brian, even if he wouldn't admit it.





	With These Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

Author's Note: Song Credit's go to Roch Voisine for their song "With These Eyes". I'd also like to give credit to Sandstorm for her fanvid which gave me the idea for this fic.

* * *

_With these eyes_  
I've held you in my arms  
And love was all I had  
But you had to end it all  
With these eyes  
I've stood out in the rain  
I've listened for your call  
That never came at all 

“Jesus, when did Woody’s start playing shitty music?” Brian cursed, bending over to take his shot at pool.

In reality, he didn’t want to have to listen to this. Every sad song, every couple, every sad lover’s movie had him shaken up. He knew it was because of Justin, not that he would admit it to anyone.

Michael glanced at Brian worriedly. Brian caught the look. He hated how Michael could be so perceptive sometimes. He glared at his best friend, stalking over to the bar and ordering a few shots of vodka.

_With these eyes you're everything to me_  
Without your love I'd wind up down upon my knees  
With these eyes I've learned from my mistakes  
That a sad song doesn't care whose heart it breaks 

“Brian if you need to talk about anything… I mean if you’re feeling down because of that asshole Jus-“

Brian cut him off, “Haven’t I always told you I’m the most fabulous fag in Pittsburgh, Mikey?” Brian questioned, downing a shot, followed quickly by two others. “I’m fine. I mean, why wouldn’t I be? Now go back to your wife.” He said, motioning to Ben.

“Brian…”

“What?” The Ad Exec snapped. “I told you, I’m fine. Now leave me the fuck alone.”

_With these eyes_  
I'm feeling out of touch  
I've waited patiently  
for you whose love I miss so much  
With these eyes  
I've watched you turn away  
with nothing left to give  
and nothing more to say 

He hadn’t meant to be so brutal to his best friend, but right now, frankly, he wanted to be left alone. He downed another shot quickly, relishing the burning feeling in his esophagus as the liquor slid down his throat. He was quickly becoming drunk and he was thankful. He hated having to think, and recently he had been doing too much of that.

“Oh shit.” He heard Michael curse, causing the Brian to look up. And sure enough, his worst nightmare had just come walking through the door.

Justin and the Fiddler.

_With these eyes you're everything to me_  
Without your love I'd wind up down upon my knees  
With these eyes I've learned from my mistakes  
That a sad song doesn't care whose heart it breaks 

Brian signaled for the bartender to bring over four more shots as he kept his eyes away from his ex and the fiddler. Brian downed all four shots just as the bartender brought them to him before signaling for four more.

Michael looked over at Brian, “Maybe you should go home…”

“Don’t tell me what to do, Mikey.” Brian slurred, already beyond drunk. “I can stay where I want and listen to stupid sad love songs and drink.”

Brian downed another shot, looking over in the direction of Justin and the Fiddler who seemed to be in a heated conversation.

“Brian I have to go soon. Please, just let me drive you.” Michael spoke, pulling at Brian’s arm.

“I can drive myself!” Brian practically yelled, shoving Michael off of him, causing half of the occupants of Woody’s including Justin and the Fiddler to look at him. “Now leave me the fuck alone.”

_And though my love for you runs so deep_  
it doesn't mean that you and I are sharing the same dream  
If only I could listen to your words and not my heart  
you're trying to spare my feelings but you're tearing me apart 

Brian watched as Michael walked over to Ben, talking to him quietly. Brian rolled his eyes, downing another shot before attempting to get off the stool. He ended up tripping slightly, only to be caught by none other than Justin.

“What the fuck do you want?” Brian hissed, pulling his arm away from his former lover.

“I was just making sure you didn’t fall on your face, geez.” Justin shook his head, looking at Brian. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” Brian slurred sarcastically. “Now go scurry on back to your loverboy… wherever he went.”

“He had to leave, but I wanted to stay for a couple of drinks.”

“And annoy the fuck out of me?” Brian had his guard up, not willing to let Justin know the real reason that he was getting himself so drunk.

“Brian… do you need someone to take you home?”

“Oh, now you’re being nice to me.” Brian attempted to walk, but was caught by Justin again. “Get your fucking hands off of me.” He jerked away from Justin, turning his head away and looking for Michael and Ben who seemed to have disappeared.

Brian stumbled back to the bar, laying his head on the counter. He knew he couldn’t drive himself home, but right now he wished he was as far away from here as possible. As far away from Justin as possible.

_With these eyes you're everything to me_  
Without your love I'd wind up down upon my knees  
With these eyes I've learned from my mistakes  
That a sad song doesn't care whose heart it breaks 

He desperately waited for the conclusion to this song. He wished something upbeat and happy would come on… something that didn’t describe how he was feeling.

“Brian… why are you crying?”

He didn’t even realize that the tears he had been holding back for so long had come forth, and in front of Justin of all people. But, he couldn’t seem to stop as he buried his head in his arms.

“Brian?”

“Leave me the fuck alone.” He grumbled without much feeling to his words.

He felt the blonde’s hand touch his back and he shuddered slightly. God he missed that touch. He missed holding Justin, touching Justin, kissing Justin, fucking Justin. But Brian had fucked up big time, and how could he take what he had done back? It was all over now. And, Justin was happy. Wasn’t that all that mattered?

“Brian?”

“Fuck off.”

“Brian, you know that’s never worked on me before.” He could feel Justin’s breath close to his ear, causing him to shudder once again.

“You want to know whats wrong?” Brian looked up at Justin before pressing a forceful kiss to Justin’s mouth, trying to put all of his feelings into this single kiss, before he hopped off the bar stool. He was much steadier now as he headed out of the bar, leaving a stunned and speechless Justin still standing at the bar as he watched Brian walk away.

_That a sad song doesn't care whose heart it breaks_


End file.
